Four years of false hopes

Today I celebrate you, you are 4 years old. I could never have thought that celebrating your birthdays would be so heartbreaking. On one hand, I am so happy because my god I am blessed to be your mother and that you are so beautiful, touching, smiling, cuddly, happy and all in good health! On the other hand, I celebrate you, my big four-year-old baby.

4 years of false hope. It's not true, let's say two... Two years of going through a roller coaster, two years of living under the sights of hospitals, doctors, specialists. Fortunately for two years, we have had the right time; you are and you will remain a baby in your mind. Your body, it continues to evolve with the seasons but by remaining still, you are today my big 4-year-old baby. I see your friends running past you, playing and singing for you and I feel joy with a big pang in my heart. I imagine you, I still hope for you, I dream about it every night. You would be a little boy with so much character and determination! I imagine you active and sporty, in any case, that's what I see when I close my eyes.

Despite everything, I continue to remain optimistic. I am "content" to rejoice that you are here with us. I can only be proud, extremely proud to be your mother. You know it, I know that you know it, I love you so much my son and I will continue to celebrate you. Not just on your birthday but every day that you are with us! Certainly, with this enormous pang in my heart but with all the love that my heart can produce! To you, to us, my big baby...

Warrior Mom