Birth story - Audrey, Levi & Jaxson Charbonneau

**I write this story in "we", in honor of having carried life within me, of having shared my body to create a small being.

It was 40.4 weeks of cohabitation that you, my little heart, decided that now was THE time to meet, on June 11, 2021.

 Before you settled into the hollow of my belly, your brothers and sisters had prepared this little place for you so that you would be well. And yes my heart, in heaven we have two little flights that left too soon. These two little angels at the top guide you, watch over you, accompany you, they are there in your little heart, in the heart of dad and mom. Never forget it.

For 40.4 weeks, you let yourself be lulled to the rhythm of my heartbeat.
For 40.4 weeks you developed in perfect health. 
For 40.4 weeks, you made yourself wanted and loved so much.

It was during our first ultrasound at 8 weeks that we knew that you had settled in well, that your little heart was beating and that our DPA was scheduled for June 7th. Dad and mom were lucky enough to see you often on screen and already, you impressed us with little arm movements and your little kicks. You were so beautiful my baby! I could already imagine the little features of your face.

On the morning of June 7, Mom had her last follow-up. You were so warm. No labor started, not even a mini feeling of "false" contractions. I was then given a provocation date, a week later. In order to make sure that you were still well in my belly and that you had enough liquid, the doctor sent us for a final ultrasound on June 10. It must be said, you were warm in my belly, so no rush, we are waiting for June 14 to provoke us.

Back home, mom lost her mucous plug. Was I dreaming or there was a "beginning" of work that might be starting... My heart was thrilled to know that in the next few days you would FINALLY arrive. In the afternoon, we went by boat, dad was having fun in sea-doo and you let yourself be lulled by the speed of the waves, a real little rocker in my belly. Mom will always remember

 …

11:30 p.m., I woke up, because you were weighing on my bladder and I couldn't sleep a night. I went to the bathroom, but it was still leaking… What was going on? I went down to the kitchen so as not to wake your dad. I wasn't sure, but I think my waters were breaking. Hard to tell it was only a few drops.

12:10 a.m., June 11, I phoned the hospital and was asked to come over to check if my pocket was punctured. I woke up your dad and we left in the direction of Montfort. They examined me and immediately they told me that the pocket that kept you warm was cracked. Being positive for streptococcus, I had to be kept, to administer medication to protect you. Dad joined us in the bedroom. No dilation, no effacement of the cervix. You knew how to keep you waiting. Mom had great pain, she contracted every 1 minute or less. The doctor had offered me choices to reduce the pain. Mom refused and tried to take baths and ball. It was 10:30 am, mom couldn't take it anymore, the pain was intense and the contractions were too close together, I had even been sick. The doctor offered me an epidural. I tried to refuse it, but then I saw your father's eyes, looking at me in pain and feeling helpless. I accepted the epidural. I was relieved in less than 5 minutes.

It was at 40.4 weeks, around 4:30 p.m. that I was given the GO to push, because I was finally open at 10 and erased completely. You were so strong my heart, your little heart was beating well, it never slowed down. I tried everything to get you out, but the positioning of your head made it difficult. We tried to keep your head turned when I pushed, but you turned it around. I pushed with each contraction written on the tracing. I felt nothing, I had no pain. "TO GO my heart I push in and you go out" was what I was thinking in my head. After a period of about 4 hours trying to get you out, we realized that we needed a little help. We had to go to a caesarean section to FINALLY get you out.

…While writing these lines to you, I am crying, I have a ball of emotions rising in me, my heart aches….

I will always remember…I was sitting on the table, my legs in the stirrups because there was a possibility of having to push your little head inwards. Dad was there, beside me, ready to meet you.

 All we heard during that moment:
 "Audrey, in a few minutes you will have your baby"
"He's stuck, I can't get him out, we'll have to push his head back"
« POP » 

Birth time: 8:42 p.m.

…. No sound, no cry...
"Call neo, we're gonna need an OR nurse"

I looked at your dad, I was worried, what was going on? I couldn't feel my lower body anymore, you weren't crying, a neonatology medical team arrived quickly... I made your dad stay with you no matter what.

I heard you cry after 1 minute, I was relieved! You were placed on top of me. We finally met.

Jaxson Charbonneau, born June 11, 2021 at 8:22 p.m., 7lbs and 15 oz.
To my son, my unconditional love, you left a mark of your birth on my skin. This mark that I carry on my lower stomach reminds me every day of this immense chance that I had to be able to carry life.

Thank you.
With all my heart, with all my love

By mom

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